


"I'm not yours and you're not mine, and that hurts more than I thought it could ever." - A note from Amethyst

by onewaytrigger



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Ending, one-sided pearlmethyst, pearl doesn't give a fuck about amethyst lmao, sad pearlmethyst, teen for slight language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-07 22:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20474633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onewaytrigger/pseuds/onewaytrigger
Summary: tw for cuttingi wanna clear a few things up before you read this, so you'll understand it more- this is not a suicide note, i wanted to make this as clear as possible. amethyst is moving back to her home country Germany (she's not german, just born there and refers to it as her home country since she spent more time there than in  America- I didn't include lapidot in the tags because its very briefly mentioned- Yes this is one-sided





	"I'm not yours and you're not mine, and that hurts more than I thought it could ever." - A note from Amethyst

**Author's Note:**

> tw for cutting
> 
> i wanna clear a few things up before you read this, so you'll understand it more
> 
> \- this is not a suicide note, i wanted to make this as clear as possible. amethyst is moving back to her home country Germany (she's not german, just born there and refers to it as her home country since she spent more time there than in America
> 
> \- I didn't include lapidot in the tags because its very briefly mentioned 
> 
> \- Yes this is one-sided

_ Pearl, _

_ I’m writing this note because I’m moving away tomorrow, and I just can’t bottle up these emotions anymore. I might not ever see you again and I figure I just tell you before I’m off in Germany, even if you don’t reciprocate these feelings I have for you. _

_ I, Amethyst Quartz Little, am in love with you.  _

_ God, it sounds so silly saying it like that. I know you won’t ever love me back and we won’t ever make a long distance relationship work either way, but I still feel like I should at least let you be aware of these feelings.  _

_ The more I write, the more I long to tell you in person instead, but by the time you read this note I’ll be gone anyways. Already it feels like I have lifted a million 20 pound weights off my shoulder, but I notice some things. _

_ Like the way your beautiful blue eyes light up when talking to Rose. Like how you immediately perk up when Rose sits next to you. Like how you cried for days on end when Rose got together with Greg. Like how you cried for even longer when Rose died giving birth to Steven. All of those tears you cried, all the sobs you tried to choke back but failed, I could hear them through the dorm walls. And damn it I cried with you. Rose was one of the best people I had ever shared any time with. She made me feel like it was okay that my body didn’t look as good as others. She helped me out of an eating disorder. I always felt like I could never repay her, but then she introduced me to you and I knew for sure I could never.  _

_ I hope you’ll miss me as much as I miss you already, even if you’re here still. I know I was just someone you cleaned up after, merely your roommate and nothing more, but I wish I had the confidence to help you out of the dark times you were in because of Roses’ death.  _

_ I can NEVER replace Rose.  _

_ And I’m completely aware of that.  _

_ I know I always annoyed you, with my lazy attitude and messy demeanor, and I wasn’t always the most considerate of you, but I wish I could tell you how sorry I am that I never helped you when you started cutting yourself. Yes, I noticed and pointed you to a good therapist, but I still feel like that wasn’t enough. _

_ Like I wasn’t enough.  _

_ Seeing Peridot and Lapis, happily living together with a super cute dog, and being engaged in college reminded me of what I had wanted with you for so long. But that won’t happen.  _

_ I’m not yours and you’re not mine, and that hurts more than I thought it could ever.  _

_ But at least now that I’m moving, you’ll get a new roommate, someone not as messy, someone who actually cared, maybe someone who didn’t bother you as much as I did. _

_ So, with that I leave you with this. I took this picture back in 8th grade, when we just became friends, and the way you were hugging me just charmed me and became my favorite picture.  _

_ Goodbye, Pearl. _

_ -Amethyst _

Amethyst sighed as she stuck the photo and the note on the blanket that lay on her bed.

Pearl took one look at it and threw it away, along with the photo the next morning.


End file.
